2007 CALENDARS

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts 2007



Push on Images to enlarge

Hallmark Teddys 2007

Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Hope everybody has a great day. Don't forget to eat that extra slice of pie. = )

Peace

Fattie Friday

A X-Mas fatty for today.




This made me laugh 'cause I really can imagine this happening in todays world.




This is how I feel today. I haven't bought one Christmas gift yet. I will be busy shopping today. I didn't even mail my Christmas cards this year. Looks like e-cards will be sent. = )

Fattie Friday

Warning today I have pictures of fat pussy. Don't scroll down.
























I told you not to scroll down. Have a great weekend. = )

Fattie Friday

Hi Everyone. I am back. Sorry for the long pause. Was trying to get healthy.



Today is friday so had to keep the tradition going.


God this is awful. Do you think this is photoshopped?

Have a great weekend all.

Fattie Friday

I am not sure if this is a woman or a man.



Damn some woman just get desperate. I guess 'ol Paul was happy afterwards.




old time fat porn.

Tried posting this yesterday but blogger wasn't working. Hope everybody has a great weekend.

Peace Greg

Fattie Friday

You know this females friends and family hate her. You think someone would be kind enough to tell her never to wear those clothes again.




Are you sure you have a hole down there?






Want to thx Norman for sending this must see link on Fattie Friday. This is worth checking out.

Have a great weekend people.

Peace Greg

Elephants never forget

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he
was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing
with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He
got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot.

There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his
hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The
elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face,
stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of
nothing else but being trampled.


Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years
later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they
approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked
over to where they are standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared
at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The
elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man
couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way
into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in
wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the
man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing
him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Want to thx Paul for e-mailing me this.
Peace Greg

Fattie Friday

Fat lesbian porn. Nope don't get it either. Alot of it on Google though.


Now this is why so many people are Fattie Friday candidates. Please keep shoving those cakes,cookies and donuts down your throats.


Now there aint enough coke in the world that I would share with this woman and I don't even do coke.

I hope everybody has a great weekend.

Peace, Greg

Purina Diet

I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in b oth arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from
laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.


I want to thank Nate for sending me this. I LMFAO!!!!

Peace

I am back

Well I made it through my surgery. I will be taking a few weeks off from work to recover. Put my paper work in to go to a health spa to speed the recovery time. I hope that works out.
I want to thank everybody who wished me a speedy recovery and kept checking back to see how I was doing.

Peace

Will be back later

I am going back into the hospital today for some more surgery. I am hoping the first two pictures are a good example of what my nurses will look like. I have a feeling they will look more like the last one.

Peace

Stupid shit

Check this link out and this link if you wanna know why we nuked Japan.
Hope everyone has a great day

Grand Slam

I am a cat owner myself but thought this was funny as hell.

Fattie Friday

Well It is raining today so I figured I could do some blogging. The weather has been awesome here the last five weeks. For the record Germany never has five weeks of awesome weather. I have the next nine days off so I will try to post more often.
Hope everyone has a Great Weekend!!

Peace

Happy 4th of July

Hope everybody has a great 4th of July. I know I am.

Peace

Happy B-Day to me

I celebrated my 40th yesterday. Had a few friends over and had a party. Still feeling the effects of yesterday. Hope everybody has a great weekend.





As you have seen I have not been posting this week. The picture above is at fault. The weather is surprisingly great and I am spending alot of time at my local bierkeller. If the weather keeps up I will be away for awhile.

Fattie Friday

Well the World Cup is going on. I know 99.9% of the Americans have no fucking idea what that is but hey Go team USA. Have a great weekend and go out and enjoy another double whopper with cheese and bacon for me. :)

Peace

The Bar

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replies "150".

The robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics & spirituality, biochemistry, environmental erconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, & sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed & thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, & comes back in for another drink.

Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink & asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responds, "about 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, & women's body parts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar & decides to give the robot 1 more test. He heads out & returns.

The robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?"

The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."

The robot says... real slowly, "So... is.. your... party... gonna... nominate... Hillary... for...president ???

The Son in-law.

AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A
STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED
HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR. SHOCKED, SHE
ASKED: "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?"

THE DAUGHTER REPLIED:
"MOM, I'M 35 YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL
EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."
THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE
OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR. TO HIS
QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER SAID: "DAD I'M 35,
UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND.
PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."

A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED
THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZ ZING NOISE
COMING FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM. SHE ENTERED AND OBSERVED HER
HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH, DOWNING A COLD BEER, AND STARING AT THE TV.
THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY.
THE WIFE ASKED: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"... THE HUSBAND REPLIED:
"I'M WATCHING BASEBALL WITH MY SON-IN-LAW."

Snake in the grass

Now this is a Kodak moment. I aint talking about the snake either. :)
Push on picture to enlarge.


Peace

Ineffective Daily Affirmations

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
4. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
6. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
8. I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
9. Joan of Arc heard voices too.
10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
12. As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
13. When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
15. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
16. All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
17. I am at one with my duality.
18. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.
19. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
20. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
21. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
22. False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
23. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
24. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
25. Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone.
26. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
27. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
28. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
29. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step -- blaming my parents.
30. To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.
31. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
32. I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

Fattie Friday

Hope every one has a great weekend.

Just say," Cheese"

It is moments like this in baseball that make me love the game.

Peace

Apocalypse is upon us. REPENT

All you bible toting yahoos repent for the Apocalypse is tomorrow.
What I find so funny about 666 is that only in America does anyone give it relavince.
May god have mercy on your souls.

Peace

Fattie Friday

How Liposuction works. The before and after pictures. ;)



I hope everybody has a great weekend.

Fattie Friday

Hope you all have a great FF and a great weekend. I don't know if she ate the guy she is sitting on but he probably wished she did.


Peace

Fattie Friday

Here is a cool fat friday link sent from Norman.
Hope everybody enjoys there weekend.

Peace