Friday, March 25, 2005

Words of wisdom

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an

erection, make him a sandwich!

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the

Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you

still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of


Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to


Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a

substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the! 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is

weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to

realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas for as

long as 10-15 years. Now take Blockbuster - You're two days late with a

video rental and those people are all over you..... I think we should put

Blockbuster in charge of our immigration.