Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich!
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the! 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas for as
long as 10-15 years. Now take Blockbuster - You're two days late with a
video rental and those people are all over you..... I think we should put
Blockbuster in charge of our immigration.
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